To fear the inevitable would be quite obtuse
But I am one who thinks of death and runs
To hide behind this insubstantial naive heart of mine
I don't know what to expect when I stumble
And I'm terrified of the seemingly perpetual fall
But somehow out of nowhere you appear
You smile so sweetly and I become bemused
Could you be an angel sent from above?
With a voice so tender you murmur in my ear
A lulling melody of beautiful intricate words
Your wonderful words of encouragement
Are enough to draw me from behind my bastion
Now I stand before you innocent as a rose
Scared to death of the events of my unknown future
You reach for my hand as if to say you're here
I'm faced with the convoluted choice
Do I take your hand and jump together
Or take the chance and jump alone
It's difficult decision and I'm thankful
Wisdom alone could not guide me through
So as I reach out to grasp your hand
I know I've got you and my wisdom
To guide me through this unconventional life
No longer will I fear the loaming promise of death
I know I've only got this one life to live
And with you at my side and my god up above
I'm ready and willing to stand resolute.
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Hey,
ReplyDeleteBrend, for some reason this reminds me of one of your older pieces? It's not a re-write is it? To be honest, this specific piece, made me feel like you just wanted to use unusual words, or bigger words, when maybe simplicty was needed more, ya know? Just an opinion. It just honestly didn't feel natuarlly spoken to me. I'm sorry, I hate writing stuff like this to you. But I want to give my honest opinion. Like there's certain times you can use complex phrases and sentences and feel right. But for some reason this time I just didn't feel that. Keep writin' Brend, just remember for me to like every piece of your writing in every subject would be sort of crazy. Because there's always going to be something that varies somewhere. None the less, I love many of your poems, this one just isn't one of my favs. Have a good night, hope I didn't offend you. -Trev
P.S. Even though I said I didn't care for this piece, there were a few lines I did really like.
Lovely Brenda-
ReplyDeleteThere are times in oue lives in which we feel lonely and sort of disoriented. This is a very natural human phase everyone of us has to deal with from time to time. What is truly crucial is to keep always clear our core values and goals. Like sometimes I say- Our values are lighthouses that help us to keep direction when the storm gets tougher.
From my point of view it doesn´t matter much the "style" of your writting as Trevorhoen said. I think the use of new and not common vocabulary will always be a useful excercise and very appreciated by most people who want to acquire new words.
Most of all- when the heart speaks, the style and thw words become second place in conecting with the audience.
Keep sharing your beautiful heart!
Kisses and blessings,
Jamie Velasco
Twitter @EMPOWERurPOWER
This was really beautiful. Thank you for sharing it with me.
ReplyDelete