Tuesday, April 27, 2010

A Promise

It's an everyday thing,
A greeting in the morning,
An 'until tomorrow' at night,
A promise.

I'm not used to losing,
But my history it haunts me,
So tonight I say goodbye,
A promise.

I asked for his permission,
Yet he's still trying for her attention,
But I won't let him win,
A promise.


  1. I really enjoyed the repetition on this one. My only thing is, the line, "I'm not used to losing," within the rest of the stanza confused me. Other wise I really enjoyed it. It's a cool piece.

  2. This is awesome, no seriously. I LOVE it, it's sweet and romantic, but if Castle were to write it (I just see it being his POV) it would also be so heartbreaking.

    If you don't mind, I'm going to post this on my LiveJournal (katherynmae.livejournal.com) so share, but all credit goes to you!

  3. Nice piece.
    I liked the way it flowed. Smooth and pleasing over the tongue. :)
    Keep writing. Because it is always good to write a little something, at least, each day.

    Visit some of my new postings at:
    Stop by, and let me hear your thoughts.


  4. Love it.
    One of the things I would encourage you to do 9as you write) is play with what you have written - take out the articles look at the verbs and their synonyms

    what I love about writing is it's playing with words


  5. Great work. :-) Keep working towards your dreams, Brend!

  6. Very beautiful words! I am glad I followed you here from here:
    You are very talented. When read these lines I had to do a double-take on your age.
    “I'm not used to losing,
    But my history it haunts me”