Saturday, March 20, 2010

I'll Never Be You're Daddy's Girl

Questions swirl around me like a whirlpool
Each one a dagger driven towards my chest
Curled up in this ball in the dead of night I scream
Enormous sobs build in my chest
An ocean of tears flood my cheeks
Why can't the world understand!?
Instead it brings blow after blow
Each one bringing me back to the start
When you told me I was worthless
That I'd never prosper
I wish you could see what you did
The nights I wake with sweat drenched hair
As the violent screams get caught in my throat
My body tensed continues to tremble
As the feeling of uselessness consumes me
I clutch my blanket the only comfort I've got
Nobody makes the motions anymore
They look down on me with pity in their eyes
But their still clueless
Lost in the battle within
I'm out of touch with the world
Days turn into weeks
And without warning the years slip past me
Now your back a new conquest in mind
But I won't give you the satisfaction
I'm learning that the pain you caused
It's made me stronger then I thought I was
But it's nothing more than a pretense
One that caries me until daylight has expired
But night gives way to the weaker me
The only part of me that still feels real
As morning beckons I cover the evidence
My sleepless night has left behind
You're the ghost of my past
Returning only to haunt my future
As freedom and adulthood near
I try to avoid your presence
But it seems that your only reason for breathing
Is to drive my already damaged heart into the ground
And claim it was all in the pursuit of absolution
But I'm standing my ground
My hearts not a toy for you to play with
And I'm not going to allow it anymore
I'm sure you'll be shocked when I tell you
That I wish you'd leave
Maybe then you'll finally see
That you were the one who broke me.


  1. I can honestly say I know who you're talking about. I don't know what to say. It's ugly at it's my beautiful. Like an internally innocent person with a scarred face, ya know? It's incredble. So cutting and deep. Thank you!

  2. poetry is a great place to express the real and the unreal. Do what you do best girl - Write!!!
    I'm enjoying getting to know you
    <3 s

  3. Very visceral and deep. You corrected a typo I spotted earlier - well-spotted! :) Keep writing; you're good.

  4. Quite an elegant piece. Its very touching. You really know how to put a pen to a piece of paper

  5. I hope this post isn't true at 17 you should not have to deal with such horror. You are an excellent writer that brings the reader right into your story and writing helps heal.

  6. oh wow. :( I hope this is just a story and not... you know...

  7. Your way with words is.... just amazing. I can't believe that you produced such a heart-wrenching piece! Your work is definitely worthy of publishing. This kind of reminded me of the movie Precious for some reason with the whole theme of feeling low because of your circumstances, yet trying to be victorious within yourself.

  8. Great piece! Good to see you're getting your work noticed...keep it up, girl! It's worth the effort

  9. Congratulations Brenda ... text is beautiful!
    You write very well ...
    I'm from Brazil and I found you on Twitter (@tiagocarossi) I am very happy to read your text =)
    I am your new follower on the blog and if you can Follow or Visit my blog >>>>>>

    Kisses and even more !!!

  10. Powerful and raw and beautiful. I especially enjoyed the ending. Great job, Brenda!

  11. I definitely can relate to this. I also really liked the ending. I want to say this to you: Don't ever give up writing! I wrote furiously when I was your age and then let life get in the way. I took all of my writing and threw it out and didn't come back to writing for almost 20 years. Your poetry is powerful, and your voice is one that needs to be heard. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. It is so easy to be silenced, but through your writing you will find the strength and power to get through anything. It is your space and no one can take that from you.

    P.S. There is a typo: "It's made me stronger then I thought I was" - "then" should be "than".